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Keeping Up Appearances #1 Hair

July 28, 2011

Living as a man after living as a very passable trans-woman for thirty two years required some effort to appear as masculine as I can on the outside to match how I feel on the inside much like effort had to go into making myself appear feminine previously when transitioning from male to female -only the Detransition seems natural and taking WAY less effort-

Hair is an example. My hair has been long for as long as I can remember being cut to shoulder length or just trimmed since the late 70’s- being a guy now I needed shorter locks and a “style” you know a “guy” style-  My long curly hair appearance wise always left a question of what gender I truly was lately since I wear minimal make-up  and  never in my life did anything for attention or especially to confuse people or make others uncomfortable-I just want people to be at ease around me and me be comfortable with myself. I have my Dad’s side of the family’s receding hairline not to mention sharp features and I used to hide that with bangs-accentuating the feminine while drawing attention away from the masculine-now striving to achieve just the opposite-accentuating the masculine features to appear more masculine. 

I had been driving friends nuts by collecting men’s hair styling magazines and trying to pick a style-it was all over the map as far as what people thought would look good on me and since In naturally curly my dear roommate and friend Simon suggested the style the lead singer of “Simply Red” had back in the 80’s , long on top and short sides and back-I found a pic of a model in “OUT” magazine who had such a cut-the few pics showed clearly from all angles what was going on and I decided this would work.

Me being for the most part a still settling starving-artist and new Spokanite coupled with I did not want to wait to get a new look that would have taken (A)more cash or (B)tracking on Craigslist a Cosmetology Student who needed a model in exchange for a service, I went to a discount chain, Fantastic Sam’s  and was fortunate to get a great stylist. I was SO comfortable with Kirsten-she listened intently to me during the consultation, studied my models cut and told me exactly what she would do and that it would work and assured me it would look great on me. I had no idea how I would react when the cutting began, I was SO ok with  losing all that hair but she Kirsten kept my mind off it by telling me about  her gay son who was now in San Diego and we discussed my detransition at  length- She was well plugged into the local Gay community.

My hair had been red for so long so after an initial “letting” of the length and shampoo I encouraged her to get as much red off as possible including the top-she obliged and I have to say I was very pleased with the final result-Kirsten was great, knowing how to “read” my head shape and accentuate the positive while nullifying by illusion the negative. Under the read, I was not as grey as I thought I was, I did purchase some temp /was out hair dye to try a dark brown, my hairs natural color sans of course the grey. I will apply this tomorrow and we shall see.

All in all, the cut is getting raves-I look at myself in the mirror from all angles and see a “guy” looking back-my stylist   Kirsten truly did good work and I will return for trims and follow ups.  Not bad for a $12.00 cut at all. Next, wardrobe and a workout plan to firm up a bit- Stay tuned! Before and after of the new style to follow!

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2 Comments
  1. stephdiane permalink

    My own experience is that hair makes a bigger gender appearance difference than most anything
    else. I got various surgeries in October ,2003, but in November I got my hair chi/japanese straightened which made it appear at least 1/3rd longer than it was when curly.

    Ironic result: my father was more distressed at the changes in my hair than he was in getting a boobjob or the orchi.

    When I was 7 or 9 or so, I used to believe that hair style and length was the “REAL” difference
    between boys and girls and I’m stlil not 100% certain that is not true.

    Hair can be poweful.

  2. You are correct Diane, Jose Eber always stated:”Hair is sex!” Go to any salon and watch the women arrive, peek when they are freshly shampooed with the towel on their heads-unbelievable the difference all that “disarray (hair)” makes! Now men, don’t have so much to work with, in that dept-when appearing female I was dependent on a lot of big hair to hid big ears and bangs to cover up a rather high forehead-completely exposed as of yesterday and it feels great!

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