Physical Changes So Far…
Hello friends, family and blog readers. It’s been a while between blog’s due to technical issues now addressed and behind me thanks to my dear friends Kathie, Marc and Simon for getting me over this “hump” I’ll be eternally grateful and with your help, I can now move forward!
I’m behind so I guess today I’ll address physical changes since we last talked a while back. Surprisingly my voice is deeper-seriously- I was told that I was talking one day it kept “cracking”. I thought I was coming down with something or slept with the fan on-but it had deepened. I have one of those voices that when I began living as a female 32 years ago I felt voice therapy was necessary to help me my voice have a more feminine tone-what I got was six months of strep-throat and laryngitis. I had to fine my own tone. Now that nature has taken back over-it’s taken over my voice as well feels like I have gravel really deep in my throat so it’s strange but feels very natural.
Body hair. Who knows? I spent decades fending off body and facial hair so since I’m letting it grow wild I can’t say if I have more or less but I did some research, I remember years before moving here when I noticed guys in East Texas were shaving their legs-it sort of freaked me out-I was playing softball on my store’s team and wondered…how high up do they shave and what “else” is getting shaved? I like male body hair-it’s virile and the men’s magazines advise when I asked suggest shaving body hair only if you are an professional athlete. I’m not, so it’s there but I do keep it trimmed or shorter. I suffer from what I call “old man’s arm hair” you know, where it’s unusually long and grows in every direction-i.e.;some of our teachers arm hair when we were in high school? I’m trying to avoid that look!
Facial hair. I did complete permanent electrolysis on my face to the jawline and below that-it was scarce so I’m surprised I have a some sideburns hair that has re-grown as well as chin hair and below-jaw-hair and more may come back-we’ll see but I can play a bit with the sideburns length and width and have some on my chin that I’m experimenting with but -these facial hairs are mostly, sadly grey and upkeep to keep them the color of my colored hair is constant but it’s fun having some facial hair after all these years so I’m making the effort and again experimenting.
Muscle mass. Well, I’m working out with some weights and unless I begin to take muscle building supplements I may be stuck with a what I had before as a guy and girl, a swimmer or runner’s build though I felt I might be able to develop more body mass now since I have more body mass but we’ll see. Would be happy to just firm some certain area’s up-will keep you posted as things progress. Keep in mind decades of inducing female hormones smoothed out muscle mass as expected so may take a while longer to see if there is truly any difference in physical appearance.
So far I’m passing completely as a man in public, no confusion in Men’s rooms or checkout counters except where I had a discount card where they look a bit puzzled when reading then saying out loud “Thank you MS Phillips?”. Yes, I had to get all new cards under my new/old name and I have to get my ID updated as I was almost turned away by the door guy at the “CUFF” a Gay bar in Seattle he looked at my I.D., then me, then leaned forward saying “Dude, we’ll let you in this time but you gotta get a new picture…”. Yes, I look THAT different with the shorter, darker hair. That is a good thing. I like being referred to as “Buddy”, “Guy”, “Sir”, “Dude”, “Mr.”, “Tiger” and other terms of male endearment and I like hanging with the guys-who would have thunk it???
This may to TMI for some but I’ve been asked and have to be brutally honest as I promised myself I had to be when I started this blog-I never underwent Sexual Reassignment Surgery so I still have my male reproductive organs and they function fine-nuff-said. Now the subject of my “chest” I did have some augmentation done to make my chest appear female and it was highly successful. I did not get implants I elected to over time have silicone injections done over several years to gradually augment the breast area and they are very believable to the eye and touch. I have to say here that Silicone itself does not kill nor mame. I’ve had Silicone in my face and breast for over 20 years. It has NOT shifted, moved, denigrated nor migrated. If Silicone was gonna kill us, we’d all be dead. It’s in our cosmetics, hair products, lotions, cookware, lubricants, everything we all handle everyday. I digress. In order to make my chest more male in appearance it would take a lot of evasive surgery requiring a lot of incisions and scrapping away leading possibly to disfigurement or nerve damage. I’m seeking a qualified plastic surgeon who has experience with such a surgery to undo what I’ve had done. Till then a good sports bra will do-no way I’m strapping down my chest with a tight ace bandage.
This is where I am today at present-I am still surprised at this drastic change at this late age but friends, I’m happier and I hate to say “at peace with myself” as it is SO cliché but. there it is-I’ve said it and it’s true and feels really, really good! More to come-and if there are any questions, please feel free to ask. I’m not so surprised to find that I’m not the only one making this journey-back for a number of reasons. Suppose we are never alone though at times it can feel that way.