Hi all, Well after an absence here and a battery of labs since early March and levels being good, all low-to-normal, I got the go-ahead to start long awaited Testosterone replacement. My Physician Dr. Bala and I decided to try Axiron, a topical Testosterone creme applied to the armpits each morning. I did not know what to expect but I can report on day five, having started on the 20th, I can “feel it”.
Seems already pants are loose as visibly and measurably belly and love handle fat is shrinking(HAPPY-DANCE!)and I have that feeling that it’s truly in my blood stream by the feeling I got on Estrogen but took about six months to feel- which is an odd sort of “hands-gripping-both-kidneys-and -tugging downward”, not as painful as it sounds and I’m a bit warm but figure that is what is burning fat and just in general the testosterone getting into my system. If after only a few days I can feel it, can’t wait to see what happens after one months dosing!
I’m a bit stronger, tested this today by trying pull-ups and push-ups, as out of shape as I am I could complete three before giving out-before I could barely do one of each:-( I’m really excited and pumped to see what other changes happen in my body and I’ll keep you all posted. I have not noticed so far any difference or frequency in erections but told they could last w-a-y longer. We’ll see.
One fascinating and kind of exciting thing we discovered during the Semen Analysis is that I’m still fertile after all those years of taking estrogen, Just knowing I could father kids has made me feel a bit younger! Keeping in mind, I’m 54 now, would be in my 70′s by the time kid was out of the house…, a friend quipped “Philip, have a kid, you’ll have someone to change your diapers”, LOL!
Well, you all are caught up, I’ll write a bit more later. If you have any questions, please ask, the only ignorant question is the one you DON’T ask!
I was given permission by a wonderful dear lady from East Texas who’s been a friend for what seems like forever to post her reply when I posted I was closing out “Phoebe’s Yahoo Acct. and the files I had not seen in so long, going through, deleting, fwd-ing important one’s to “Philip’s Yahoo Acct., etc., I was surprised at her reply but my friend had only knew “PHOEBE” and upon reading the below post about deleting Phoebe’s Yahoo account had this very moving message that made me cry, this is truly the traits one wants in friends and I’m blessed Roo to know you and Love you dearly as you Love me:——————————————————————————————————————————————————–
I want to say Dear Phoebe, but I need to get used to Dear Philip. I have to tell you this is a bit difficult for me. I know mentally that you have made the change back to Philip, but you see…I never knew Philip. I knew Phoebe. Phoebe was gorgeous and talented, sweet and hilarious. Phoebe would tell me if my fashion was hip or a drip, my make up great or caked. Phoebe was witty to a fault and always made me smile or laugh, especially when I needed it most. Phoebe knew when I was down to my last nerve or needed to escape. Phoebe understood art…one of my passions, even those I couldn’t paint a stick person. Phoebe loved a good biography book as much as I did and let me borrow hers (I still have them, but you have to come get them!) . My point is this. I think I need to grieve. I haven’t accepted the reality of Philip yet. I HATE this feeling that I will never see Phoebe again….I refuse to accept the fact that Phoebe is no more. Phoebe was my friend and I loved her goofy self. I never got a chance to say goodbye. I admit I cried….I don’t think I’m through crying…like I said, I’m grieving, but eventually…with Philip’s help, I can get past the mourning stage and get on with the living and being happy for Philip. I can’t wait to meet him and get to know him. If I’m half as good of a friend as I think I am…I will recognize my dear friend’s heart right away and the sadness will disappear and be replaced with joy. I just wanted to share my feelings. Thanks for being such a wonderful person and friend.—————————————————————————–
Philips says: If anyone who knows she or I reads this and you ain’t tearing up at least a little bit, check your pulse, you may be dead!
Have not had any Earth shattering news but will post an unusual business situation I’m got myself into that is unique to the 30-something years I’ve been in the Mannequin game but, found this and wanted to share a 15yrs old short story about just what I went through-not being able to hold feelings in any longer:
Hi friends, I meant to post this some time back and it got “stuck” in the drafts folder,
I find this facinating and guess if I had been as financially blessed as charles here I would have had SRS as well-YIKES!!! Trying to get back that something you once had has to be expensive and tough-hard to replicate what God gave you as a male at birth….
I Admire Charles for telling his story candidtly and being able to re-evaluate and move on with his life-not sure I agree with the term “Trans-Regret”, but there are those who don’t agree with the term “De transition”…so….Anyway:
Been a while since my last post-a lot has happened but ordinary things that happen to all of us. I’ve moved and MUCH happier and at peace in new home with a great basement workshop that is full of mannequins for repairs, some mine, some belong to retailers, a couple are here for redo’s for collectors.
A reporter from the INLANDER(our weekly free paper)contacted our local LBGT Center about an interest in reporting on various people’s gender transitions. Matt announced this on the Facebook page, I called left a message, about a week later I met the reporter and we talked and here is the result:
I was a bit taken back/suprized that several people expressed interest but did not have time to talk with the reporter-a couple were nice enough to cancel but a few left her sitting by herself in coffee shops for hours being no-show and no-call besides being rude, this left them scrambling at last minute to fill a full page that was going to be for a few stories-since I was the only one, I got the page to myself.
My story is out of the norm as few detransition back. This is probably not what the general public things off when transition comes to mind so it will be interesting to see what people think.